Tag: psalms

Courage That Cares (Day 21)

When we stop caring what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. But when we are defined by what people think, we lose the courage to be vulnerable. Brené Brown

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Psalm 23:5

As we practice the rising strong process, we will encounter the gap between our own strength and the emotionally resilient person we long to be.

In Psalm 23, the shepherd-king David poetically bridges this gap. He describes what it feels like to walk through life as a vulnerable human being AND also one who is deeply connected to God’s strength. It’s like being fed and cared for when you’re tired. It’s like going through death and darkness, while tethered to God’s light and life. It’s like God affirming you out loud in front of your critics and enemies.

In Rising Strong, the author describes a healthy pathway for dealing with the critics in our lives. It’s not as simple as NOT caring what people think. Criticism hurts; and sadly both loved ones and strangers will attempt to control us with criticism. We might try the tactic of “I don’t care what you think”, but that’s actually a form of emotional armor that will fail us. For me, the armor fails when I’m tired, my heart opens up and suddenly the hurt rushes in.

Brené Brown writes in Chapter 10:

When we stop caring what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. But when we are defined by what people think, we lose the courage to be vulnerable. The solution is getting totally clear on the people whose opinions actually matter. On a one-inch-by-one-inch square of paper, I want you to write down the names of the people who really matter. This is a sacred little space. If you have more names than can fit on a square this size, you need to edit. These should be the people who love you not despite your imperfections and vulnerabilities, but because of them. When you’re facedown in the arena, these are the folks who will pick you up and confirm that the fall totally sucked, then remind you that you’re brave and they’ll be there to dust you off the next time. You should also include the people who are brave enough to say “I disagree” or “I think you’re wrong,” and who will question you when they see you acting outside of your values. I carry my square in my wallet.

I’ve learned that spiritual strength is something God forges in us as we do spiritual practices. The 1×1 square paper exercise is a spiritual practice for staying connected in the midst of criticism. So is meditating on Psalm 23, especially verse 5.

Bible scholar Howard Macy writes: In subtle and even surprising ways [The Psalms] show us the “real world,” they draw us ever steadily toward authentic wholeness, and they bring us to see and delight in the God who is with us.

So, who are the people on your 1×1 square and why?

Now picture yourself seated at the foot of a long dinner table with your trusted people seated on your right and left and God (Parent God, Sibling Jesus or Holy Spirit) at the head. The critics in your life are also at the table, but God and your trusted friends are in charge of this dinner, and God has provided food, drink and a place of belonging for everyone.

How do you feel about this picture? In what ways does it change your view of being criticized?

Starter Prayer

LORD God, help me get clear about the people whose opinions really matter.

Reading Focus for Rising Strong, by Brené Brown

We are moving into week 4, of this 6-week study. The focus is Chapters 7-8 of Rising Strong. The topics are: Rumbling with difficult emotions and human need.

Sleep and Play (Day 14)

If we want to live a Wholehearted life, we have to become intentional about cultivating sleep and play, and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth. Brené Brown

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake. Psalm 23

In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown develops the Ten Guideposts for Wholehearted Living. #7 is Cultivating Play and Rest. In her research she found that the ‘oddballs’ she calls ‘the Wholehearted’ have a secret: They prioritize rest and fun in their lives.

The 23rd Psalm celebrates the same secret. The poet describes God as a wise shepherd who knows where the green pastures are from season to season. God leads us right to them. God also knows when it time to stop working and restore energy by a cool stream. God provides what we need in a way that is not only adequate– it’s generous.

From time to time I follow Brown’s advice and update my “ingredients for joy and meaning” list. Today, I’m going to make a fresh list of the specific conditions that are in place when everything feels good in my life. Then I’ll check that list against my to-do list and my list of goals. The results are always surprising.

What about you? It’s lunacy for us to head out on an adventure like Rising Strong without a deliberate life plan for rest and enjoyment. So how about it? Who will join me by making a list of your “ingredients for joy and meaning” in life?

Starter Prayer

LORD God, lead me on the right path for Wholehearted living. Help me integrate the hard work of Rising Strong with the gift of being well loved.

Reading Focus for Rising Strong, by Brené Brown

We are well into week two, and heading into week three, of this 6-week study. The focus is Chapters 4-5 of Rising Strong. The topics are: Reckoning with emotion, the rumble and Living BIG.

Psalm 1 For the Brave and Brokenhearted (Day 7)

There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers than those of us who are willing to fall, because we have learned how to rise. Brené Brown, from Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted

Happy are those
who do not follow the advice of the wicked,
or take the path that sinners tread,
or sit in the seat of scoffers;
but their delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law they meditate day and night.
They are like trees
planted by streams of water,
which yield their fruit in its season,
and their leaves do not wither.
In all that they do, they prosper. Psalm 1:1-3

I love the lyric of Psalm 1. It speaks of God’s creativity flowing through us as we choose the path of life and light over the path of hustling our way in the darkness. It also reminds me of Brené Brown’s Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted at the end of Rising Strong.

Here’s the mashup I’m hearing in my head:

Happy are those
who do not follow the advice of the fearmongers,
or walk in step with the cynics,
or sit in the cheap seats with the critics;
but their delight is in the Law of Love,
and on this law they meditate day and night.
They are like trees
planted by streams of water,
which yield their fruit in its season,
and their leaves do not wither.
In all that they do, they prosper.

Those who misuse their power are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind blows away.
Therefore, their influence will not survive the judgment of Love,
or stand up in the presence of the wholehearted;
for the LORD of Love watches over the brave and brokenhearted,
but the false use of power will perish.

Starter Prayer and Practice

LORD of Love, keep watch over my brave and broken heart, and lead me in the path of wholeheartedness all of my days.

Read all of Psalm 1 aloud. Print out verses 1-3, and read them over, morning and evening, during this second week of the Rising Strong™ study. We’ll be back in Philippians tomorrow; but the Psalms are powerful prayers, and Psalm 1 is the kind of meditation that works it’s way through your soul over time.

Reading Focus for Rising Strong, by Brené Brown

We are finishing week 1 of this 6-week read along. The focus for week 2 is Chapters 4-5. The topics are: Owning our stories, reckoning with emotion, and an introduction to the rumble.