Category: Meditation

Illness as a Messenger

May grace come to restore you to balance.
May it shape a new space in your heart
To embrace this illness as a teacher
Who has come to open your life to new worlds. John O’Donohue

Before I write about the hope of springtime, I want to say something about illness.

Illness is a messenger. When your body takes ill, it’s speaking. When a social illness erupts in a family, there is a message for the family leader/s. When a church or corporation turns toxic, it’s time to listen up big time. When a pandemic strikes the earth, there is an important message for her inhabitants.

And when it’s a pandemic, I can’t help but think the message is for the whole global community, rather than for a specific individual; although illness amidst pandemic speaks to individually infected people and families as well.

You may think I’m crazy for saying these things, but many of you know what I’m talking about. To soften the claim let me explain:

The message of illness is not a shaming or hurtful message. It’s always a sign of hope for your wellbeing. Your body has been created by God to care enough about you to speak up and help you heal. And so too, the earth that God created and loves always cares enough to speak to her inhabitants when we are hurting.

Everything I’ve just said is an oversimplification of a life principle, which is never straightforward and calls for careful interpretation.

Tonight, I just wanted to name it. To get it off my chest. To ask us to begin thinking about it. This pandemic is a messenger.

Spiritual Practice

To get us started thinking about the hopeful possibilities, here is a blessing from the late John O’Donohue, a poet, theologian and philosopher.

A Blessing for a Friend on the Arrival of Illness
by John O’Donohue

Now is the time of dark invitation
Beyond a frontier that you did not expect
Abruptly, your old life seems distant.
You barely noticed how each day opened
A path through fields never questioned,
Yet expected deep down to hold treasure.
Now your time on earth becomes full of threat;
Before your eyes your future shrinks.
You lived absorbed in the day to day,
So continuous with everything around you,
That you could forget you were separate;
Now this dark companion has come between you,
Distances have opened in your eyes,
You feel that against your will
A stranger has married your heart.
Nothing before has made you
Feel so isolated and lost.
When the reverberations of shock subside in you,
May grace come to restore you to balance.
May it shape a new space in your heart
To embrace this illness as a teacher
Who has come to open your life to new worlds.
May you find in yourself
A courageous hospitality
Towards what is difficult,
Painful and unknown.

May you use this illness
As a lantern to illuminate
The new qualities that will emerge in you.
May the fragile harvesting of this slow light
Help you to release whatever has become false in you.
May you trust this light to clear a path
Through all the fog of old unease and anxiety
Until you feel arising within you a tranquility
Profound enough to call the storm to stillness.
May you find the wisdom to listen to your illness:
Ask it why it came? Why it chose your friendship?
Where it wants to take you? What it wants you to know?
What quality of space it wants to create in you?
What you need to learn to become more fully yourself
That your presence may shine in the world.
May you keep faith with your body,
Learning to see it as a holy sanctuary
Which can bring this night-wound gradually
Towards the healing and freedom of dawn.

May you be granted the courage and vision
To work through passivity and self-pity,
To see the beauty you can harvest
From the riches of this dark invitation.

May you learn to receive it graciously,
And promise to learn swiftly
That it may leave you newborn,
Willing to dedicate your time to birth.

Sleep peacefully,
Katie

Mindfulness

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is… Set your minds on things above… For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Colossians 3

Easter Thursday Prayer: Christ who shelters and nurtures my True Life, renovate my thoughts and heal my heart. Help me experience the JOY of being in this ONE moment.  

(This week the evening drop of hope is dedicated to the courage-building skills of rising strong. It’s my way of staying in the Easter Spirit for the whole week!)

Yesterday, I forgot to write the Evening Drop of Hope. This happened because I was practicing mindfulness. Having started the week with a mindful Monday, I was planning to practice being in the NOW all week long! So, moving from afternoon tasks into the evening hours, I made the mental commitment to pay attention to my cooking and my housemates. I wasn’t going to let media, or the worries of the workday, take over my head. In the course of paying attention to my inner life, I dropped a task that matters.

This happens to me a lot. There seems to be a tradeoff between present moment awareness and getting my stuff done! If you have figured out how to have it both ways, please do share!

In any case, this little drop of hope is dedicated to the art of mindfulness, which you now know I am NOT qualified to teach.

What is mindfulness?

The definition of mindfulness I carry around with me comes from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

Mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment. Mindfulness also involves acceptance, meaning that we pay attention to our thoughts and feelings without judging them—without believing, for instance, that there’s a “right” or “wrong” way to think or feel in a given moment. When we practice mindfulness, our thoughts tune in to what we’re sensing in the present moment rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future.

Colossians 3:1-3 is my theme verse for mindfulness. (See above.)

Spiritual Practice

In order to practice mindfulness, I try to do a couple of elementary things that we teach in the Daring Way™.

First, I write myself a permission slip. For instance: “Permission to make dinner while only making dinner.” Or, “Permission to have fun with my housemates without squeezing in one last workday task.” If I’m feeling some stress, I might write this permission slip on a Post-It Note and physically place it in my space. Elementary, my dear!

The other elementary thing I do is pay attention to my breathing. Having decided to re-focus on the NOW, and having written a permission slip, I pay attention to what I’m feeling in my body. If I’m not relaxed and able to enjoy myself, I know that something is UP. The best way I know to pay attention to deeper truths in my body is to focus on my breathing. I’m currently favoring a breathing practiced called Ujjayi Pranayama used in various types of therapeutic Yoga. Here’s a short video, if you want to try it out.

I feel a little self-conscious recommending practices that might cause you to be less productive in the short-term. I’m also pretty hopeful that in the long run, we’ll be more creative and whole if we find mindfulness.

Love you!
Katie

Hopefulness

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun. Psalm 37

Easter Tuesday Prayer: God of all futures, give us the tenacity to hope, that we may not give in to fear, despair, or cynicism. Amen.

(This week the evening drop of hope is dedicated to the courage-building skills of rising strong. It’s my way of staying in the Easter Spirit for the whole week!)

Today, the debate over public health versus economic freedom is raging in the news. The president claims he has absolute authority to decide when we can safely open schools and public spaces. The state governors say, “Not so fast.” Well, no matter who gets to decide, you and I won’t have much of a say.

When your future is at the mercy of government decision makers, where do you find hope?

Since 2014, the church where I lead has had a motto: Hope is Here. The motto has at least three meanings: 1.) Our church family embodies a deep sense of hopefulness; 2.) The Spirit of Christ brings Hope, and Christ is in everything; 3.) Because the Spirit of Christ is in us, Hope is with us when we gather, and hope goes with us when we’re scattered into the community.

What is Hope?

Brené Brown writes that “Hope is a function of struggle.” So, it makes sense that our church rose into this character of hopefulness through some painful struggles. It also makes sense that Crossroads is influencing individuals and families with Hope during the painful struggle of Covid-19.

Next to Love and Belonging, we want those we love to have a deep sense of hopefulness.

This evening, I want to offer us a way to foster hopefulness in our personal lives—NOW.

Before learning about C.R. Snyder’s research on hope, I thought hope was a feeling of possibility; and as a theologian I had all kinds of Bible material on the topic. But according to Snyder, hope isn’t an emotion; it’s a way of thinking about something. Emotional literacy plays a supporting role, but hope is really a style of directing the mind, which involves goals, pathways and agency.

According to Snyder, hope happens when:

  1. We have the ability to set realistic goals (I know where I want to go).
  2. We are able to figure out how to move toward those goals, including the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative routes (I know how to get there, I’m persistent, and I can tolerate disappointment and try again).
  3. We believe in ourselves (I can do this!).

HOPE as a Spiritual Practice:

I realize every person’s situation is different today. While one medical worker wonders when she will hold her baby again, a fellow parent on the same block wonders when he will walk his child to the school bus stop, or receive a paycheck, again. The intensity of longing and wondering puts the squeeze on the hopefulness of both parents.

No matter what you hope for, do yourself a favor and meditate your way through Snyder’s pathway and your situation. 1.) Envision meeting your goal and talk to God about the worthiness of what you hope for. 2.) Admit, “God I don’t have the power to control the outcome; but I am brave enough to commit and persist through the twists and turns of my situation (Read Psalm 37). 3.) Finally, remind yourself of a time in the past when you faced uncertainty and persisted. Say, “I’ve done it before; I can do this again.”

Is this a formula for hopefulness? Not really. It’s a spiritual practice that trains the mind and transforms the self. I offer it to us, because I’m passionate about us learning HOW to hope in life-changing ways.

Rest well and take JOY,
Katie

Rise Up

I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3

Easter Monday Prayer: Risen Christ, you include me in your mystery of passion, death, waiting, and new life. Because I trust YOU, I trust my own deaths too. Allow me this Easter to go further with you and to trust the Power of Resurrection. Amen

Before you read: Watch and listen!

It is Easter Monday: Holy Week has happened; and Spring has sprung. We are perhaps halfway through this BIG Pause, and we’re now fully aware we are making history. We’ve never experienced a global pandemic with a national shutdown before. When it’s over, most of us will look back on this as a live-changing event.

What are you learning so far? What good will come from what we’re going through? To put it another way: When this is over, what are you willing to let back into your life? We have a chance to think about that.

There is a lot of speculation going on about the meaning and purpose of our pain—on the individual and collective level.

This week, I’ll devote the evening musings to the practical process of rising strong in midst of suffering. Learning and growing through hardship isn’t guaranteed; but it’s powerfully possible. Going from strength to strength over the course of our lives mostly depends on the quality of consciousness we bring to the evolving stories of our lives.

And since we’re all in weird times this Easter Week, why not go on an intentional treasure hunt for the next great thing to be uncovered in our hearts? Each evening this week, I’ll bring a different rising strong topic and a new exercise for rising.

Spiritual Practice

This evening our practice is to be mindful of our Easter Monday status of being in-Christ. You are literally filled up to all the fullness of God. I know: You don’t always feel that way, and neither do I.

Listen again to the theme song for this Easter week, performed by our worship musicians at Crossroads. It’s lit up with photos of families who are rising strong.

Read aloud the verses from Ephesians 3 and the starter prayer at the top of this post.

Rest Well knowing you are in good hands,
Katie

Abnormally Holy

“The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” Jesus speaking; John 12

Starter Prayer: Risen Christ, you include me in your mystery of passion, death, waiting, and new life. Because I trust YOU, I trust my own deaths too. Allow me this Easter to go further with you and to trust the Power of Resurrection. Amen

The worship and devotional practices of Holy Week and Good Friday are meant to teach us about the mysterious and holy cycle of suffering, death and resurrection as ultimately demonstrated by Jesus of Nazareth for our salvation. As we read the final chapters of Jesus’s story, and remember his arrest and execution, we are meant to allow his loving mercy to comfort us in our own suffering. This is the purpose of the readings, songs and prayers of a “normal” Holy Week.

But this Holy Week is not “normal.” This Holy Week we are literally living in the drama and themes of Passover, Death and Waiting for Resurrection. Passover: There is a plague in the land, which we pray will pass. Death: But as we pray, “Let this cup pass from us,” people are dying anyway. And Waiting: When will the dying be over and salvation from COVID-19 be realized?

When a seed falls into the ground and dies, there is a kernel of power within the seed. Deep in the darkness of the soil, life is erupting. In time, we will see new life.

I believe these deaths and resurrections naturally occur in the world. And the pattern points to an even larger reality. God is Love, and God works these very same risings in our individual lives and in the events of history until the redemption of the whole world. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that all who believe in him will not die, but will have eternal life.

Spiritual Practice

Pray the Starter Prayer at the top of this post. And in preparation for Good Friday, I urge us to read the Story of the Cross of Jesus from Matthew Chapters 24-27. Pay special attention to the Focus Passage: Matthew 27:45-56 and the Daily Verse for Good Friday: “Truly this man was God’s son!” The full Holy Week Reading Plan is online.

Please join us online at 6:30pm Friday for a live Good Friday meditation led by Pastor Ryan Howell. I know that Ryan will do a beautiful job of simply leading us to the Cross and through the Paschal mystery of Jesus. If you’re able, have three candles and something to eat and drink. We will take communion together.

The Power and the Peace of Christ be yours this Abnormally, Holy Week,
Katie

p.s. Online Easter events for adults and Kids are coming Sunday! Crossroads Kids Live Party is at 9am and Easter with amazing music and message is at 10am.

Like a Child Again

“As you change and become like little children, you are able to enter the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus’s words from Matthew 18

Starter Prayer: God our Loving Parent, help me let go of my self-importance, and lead me into a full lifetime of happy childhood.

Joy is the most vulnerable emotion of all. Dr. Brené Brown

Blessings on this Holy Wednesday Evening. As I write this, there is a glimmer of good news about the COVID-19 curve possibly flattening out.

Also, last night during the supermoon, I had my first experience of hearing the neighborhood come outside and howl in support of frontline workers. Both these things give me JOY.

And there is one more. Last night at dusk, the neighborhood streets were full of families riding bikes with kids and dogs. (Well the dogs were trotting along.) It all reminded me of the the JOY Dave and I had taking our girls on bike rides when they were young. We had bikes, and baby bike seats, and at one point– two bike trailers. In the bike riding we felt like children again. The wind in our hair, the picnic dinner in the trailer, the happy children without a care in the world.

Our Crossroads Church family is reading through the Gospel of Matthew over the seven days of Holy Week. This morning my colleague Ryan Howell was live on Facebook talking about Jesus’s statement: “Only as you change and become like little children are you are able to enter the kingdom of heaven.”

All the howling and biking and moon gazing and news of fewer COVID cases is an occasion for innocent JOY. If you participated in enjoying anything like this today, take courage– you are participating in the kingdom of God!

Spiritual Practice

If you haven’t seen Ryan’s mini-teaching on kids and the kingdom of heaven, do yourself a favor and watch it.

Remember that JOY is the most vulnerable emotion of all. Allow yourself to feel JOY without trying to guard your heart with realism or cynicism– what Brené Brown calls “foreboding joy”.

As you do these things, I’m confident God will lead you deeper into the lifetime of happy childhood you are created to enjoy.

May the Joy of the LORD be your strength this Holy Wednesday,
Katie

Super-signs of Hope

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. Ephesians 1:18-19

Starter Prayer: Lord God who shines in human hearts to make light in the darkness. We look to you with hope, faith and LOVE. And the greatest of these is LOVE.

Blessings on this Holy Tuesday evening. As the supermoon illuminates the planet this Dark Night, I pray you are experiencing glimpses of Hope as you do your best to live faithfully through this different-kind of Holy Week.

Spiritual Practice

If you haven’t heard this new song from our Crossroads Framilycast on Palm Sunday, give it a listen. The lyrics mean a lot during these unprecedented times.

Then breath deeply and pray aloud the truth of Ephesians 1:18-19 and the starter prayer at the top of this post. As you do, I’m confident God will answer your prayer and fill your heart with new Hope.

The Light of Christ be yours this Holy Tuesday and always,
Katie

Light and Truth

I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. Ephesians 1:18-19

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.” Matthew 6:22

O my God, shine Your light and truth to help me see clearly, To lead me to Your holy mountain, to Your home. Amen (Psalm 43:1)

Blessings on this Holy Monday evening. I pray you are experiencing glimpses of the Peace of Christ even as you do your best to live faithfully through some difficult days.

Our Crossroads Church family is reading through the Gospel of Matthew over the seven days of Holy Week. This morning my colleague Ryan Howell was live on Facebook talking about Jesus’s statement: “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.”

This theme about eyes, light and whole-person wellbeing occurs over and over in scripture. I’ve pulled a couple of my favorites on the topic and shared them with you at the top of this post.

Spiritual Practice

If you haven’t seen Ryan’s mini-teaching on Facebook, do yourself a favor and watch it. It’s clever, kind and it will kick your butt! If you’re a reader, take in some of today’s reading from Matthew’s gospel– either the whole thing or the focus passage.

Then breath deeply and pray aloud the truth of Psalm 43:1 at the top of this post. If you do, I’m confident God will answer your prayer and fill your eyes and your whole body with light.

The Power and the Peace of Christ be yours this Holy Monday,
Katie

Grief

Owning our stories of heartbreak is a tremendous challenge when we live in a culture that tells us to deny our grief. Brené Brown.

Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;
    my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
    my soul and body with grief. Psalm 31

LORD God, be merciful to me as I rumble with my grief. Amen

One day I asked my Grandma B., “How long did it take you to get over Uncle Donnie’s death?”

I was about 15 and unaware of how grief works. I had no idea that a mother will never “get over” the death of her son. Uncle Donnie was killed in Vietnam when he was 19 years old. There is a photo in the family album of my grandparents standing in their living room with the Marine who presented them the purple heart medal. My grandpa and grandma posed for the photo, but their gaze is not at the camera. They look lifeless.

This week, our human family is facing numerous losses and griefs. One grief at the front of my mind is the grief that students and parents are feeling in northern Colorado. Students have learned they won’t return to school this spring. Parents are grieving the loss of the educational routines and teachers that support their families. Parents are grieving the loss of vocation structure and freedom in the face of changing family needs.

In Rising Strong, author Brené Brown describes the three most foundational elements of grief that emerged from her studies: loss, longing, and feeling lost. We are experiencing all of this.

Spiritual Practice

Since we live in a culture that has no patience for grief, and since rumbling with grief is crucial to the rising strong process… Please give yourself the gift of acknowledging your grief. Read Psalm 31. Like the psalmist did, talk it out with God verbally or in writing.

If you would like to talk to a pastor or trained volunteer, please contact us at Crossroads Church. Call 970-203-9201, and ask for Perry. We have skilled, trustworthy people who can walk with you in your grief for as long as you like.

Voice

Blessed is the LORD! for he has heard the voice of my prayer. The LORD is my strength and my shield, my heart trust in him, and I have been helped; Therefore my heart dances for joy, and in my song will I praise him. The LORD is the strength of his people, a safe refuge for his anointed. Save your people and bless your inheritance, shepherd them and carry them forever. Psalm 28

There is a modern catch phrase meaning: ‘the person speaking has something to say, and the people listening affirm that the speaker is worthy of speaking.’ The catch phrase is: to “have a voice.” We might say, “she found her voice” or “I have a voice” or “they gave me a voice.”

Truth is: You have a voice. If you’ve ever felt silenced, you know it’s a terrible feeling. And to have a voice is a wonderful and healthy way of using your rightful power.

God is one who gives voice; and the most important place we use our voice is in prayer. Anyone can pray, anytime. No one can silence your prayers. And best of all, the LORD of creation listens to your voice and joins in your prayer– with compassion, vision and wisdom beyond words.

VESPERS Prayer

There are countless ways of using your voice in prayer. There are talking prayers and silent prayers, group prayers and solitary prayers. There is mental prayer and meditation, intercessory prayer and soaking prayer, breath prayers and desperate prayers. There are scripted prayers, prayer services and praying in the Spirit. Prayer breeds life, and there are so many new things to learn and try when it comes to your VOICE in prayer.

Vespers is a service of evening prayer, which comes out of the monastic community tradition. Vespers is a wonderful way to transition the day into a hopeful evening.

A Vespers prayer time is something you can do any evening, anywhere. If you like, you can light a candle, sit quietly and invite yourself into God’s presence, then read a Psalm and finally close with a prayer that is intended to be used for a full week. There are various prayer books and resources that provide us with scriptures, prayers and songs for Vespers.

Let’s Try It

Light a candle and sit quietly alone or with others. Rest in silence for a minute or two. Rest your heart and mind and silently confess your intention to enter into God’s presence.

Read this evening’s Psalm 28:6-9 aloud. Is there a word or phrase that speaks to you? Form what you’re thinking about into a prayer. Write it down, talk to God about it or share it with someone else. Use your freedom in Christ to speak your peace!

Say the Our Father aloud: Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who have trespassed against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen

Conclude by saying The Prayer Appointed for the Week. (From The Book of Common Prayer in the Season of Lent): Gracious Father, whose blessed Son Jesus Christ came down from heaven to be the true bread which give life to the world: Evermore give me this bread, that he may live in me, and I in him; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen

Have a blessed evening; and rest safely,
Katie