Learning to Care (Day 19)


What do people with strong relationships, parents with deep connections to their children, teachers nurturing creativity and learning, clergy walking with people through faith, and trusted leaders have in common? They recognize the power of emotion and they’re not afraid to lean in to discomfort. Brené Brown

I hope to send Timothy to you soon… I have nobody else of his quality: he will care quite genuinely about how you are. Like a child with a father he has worked as a slave alongside me for the sake of the gospel. The Apostle Paul (Philippians 2:19-23)

I can’t remember when it happened, but one day I woke up and realized that my own daughters, whom I used to goad and nag to help with cooking, laundry, gardening or entertaining—even proof reading and editing—had become highly skilled and reliable in all of those things. They had learned to care about their work and the people they serve.

I realized that over years of working closely together, we had come to share a brain and a heart. And now, I have the blessing of their helpful companionship. Sometimes we work side by side as partners. And when they do work on my behalf, I know they will do an excellent job.

This is the ultimate joy of parenting, leadership and teaching in any setting. And Brené Brown’s research reminds me of an X-factor in any good apprenticeship—the factor of caring. Brené discovered that good students have been taught empathy and emotional resilience by their parents and teachers, coaches and pastors.

We learn in Paul’s letter to the Philippians that he and Timothy have worked together like father and son—in a culture where most children follow their parents into the family occupation and learn how to work by watching and copying. Now, an intimate bond has formed between the two, so much so that Paul trusts his young friend to represent him anywhere.

It’s interesting that he doesn’t endorse Timothy as a “wonderful teacher”, or a “devout and holy man”, but as a caring person who can be trusted to serve people with love and expertise.

In what ways were you taught skills like empathy when you were growing up? In what ways are you practicing them now and passing them on to others?

Starter Prayer

LORD God, guide me into caring relationships where I can learn, grow and influence others for good.

Reading Focus for Rising Strong, by Brené Brown

We are in week three, of this 6-week study. The focus is Chapters 5-6 of Rising Strong. The topics are: The Rumble, and Living BIG (Boundaries, Integrity and Generosity). If your discussion group has completed session three, begin reading Chapters 6-7.

Published by

Katie Martinez

Katie Martinez is a pastor and spiritual director living and working in northern Colorado—She speaks and writes about spirituality, leadership and the Martinez Family antics. Katie is married to Dave, and the two have four daughters, two sons in law, a boyfriend or two, four college roommates, one cat and three grandkitties. A lover of mountains, rivers, oceans and trees, Katie's favorite things are sleeping, waking, reading and traveling.

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